


The Esoteric Dangers of Office Chairs

by chaosx (retrogve)



Category: TFTBL - Fandom, Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: Airlocks, Crack, Office Chairs, Office Deaths, Other, trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 15:36:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4966543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retrogve/pseuds/chaosx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Rhys launches Vasquez into an airlock on an office chair. Fin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Esoteric Dangers of Office Chairs

**_////_**

Rhys was _pissed_.

Actually, pissed was an understatement. He felt like kicking something, _hard_.

For someone who had just been robbed of their promotion, hell, he was actually handling the whole situation pretty darn well.

 _Assistant Vice Janitor THIS!_ He though as he hurled his long leg into the side of a garbage can, causing the receptacle to clatter loudly to the floor as trash flew in scattered directions.

Vaughn stopped mid sentence and glanced upwards at his friends' tense face with a look of deep concern.

"Assistant Vice Janitor Rhys, report to..." a female voice droned over Helios' announcement system but the rest of the sentence was drowned out by the sound of blood pounding loudly in Rhys' ears. He swiftly turned on his heel leaving his friend behind with the mess he had made.

Vasquez was _not_ going to get away with this.

**_////_**

Rhys scanned the access panel to Vasquez's office with his ECHO Eye. It offered little resistance as it slid open at his request.

Vasquez's brogues were propped up on the mahogany desk, his head hidden behind the huge Hyperion monitor.

"Yes I'm sure I want the 3 instead of an E. No no no. Three. Like the number."

There was a pause.

"Listen here dipshit, this is how I want my name spelled on the plate, V, A, S..."

Rhys rolled his eyes and listened for a few more seconds before clearing his throat _very_ loudly.

Vasquez leaned out from behind the gargantuan display and held up his finger.

"Yeah, yeah. Get to it!" and Vasquez terminated the comm link.

"What are you doing here Rhys?" he inquired, sounding annoyed.

The newly appointed assistant vice janitor ran his flesh hand through his hair and offered a _small_ laugh. But the smile didn't linger.

"Oh you know just doing my _job._ " he replied.

Vasquez looked confusedly in Rhys' direction and opened his mouth to probably tell Rhys to get the hell out of his office. But the younger man made his way around to the back of Vasquez's black leather _rolling_ office chair.

Killing him _was_  going to be funafter all.

Vasquez attempted to turn to face Rhys but any movement attempted was foiled by a _very_ firm grip on the back of the chair and the collar of his shirt. The yellow of Rhys' cybernetic arm was just barely visible in Vasquez's periphery.

Rhys looked down onto his victim and a small smile tugged at his lips. _Justice_. He activated his ECHO eye and scanned the panel by the glass by the airlock. It beeped and slid open, ready for the _trash_ to be dumped. Vasquez tried to pull away from Rhys' titanium alloy grip on his collar but it was decidedly infrangible.

Rhys wheeled a perplexed Vasquez to the opposite side of the room while the tiny office chair wheels made loud protesting noises on the hardwood floor.

"What _are_ you do..." but Vasquez was caught off guard by the sudden acceleration of his chair. He had barely registered the _gravity_ of the situation as he was shot across the room at breakneck speeds, wheels spinning, right into the airlock. He smashed into the wall and watched, vision blurred from the impact, as the glass separating him from his office and the airlock closed.

Rhys stood behind the triple pane glass with, what was now, a full on grin.

"Rhys what the _hell_ are you doing!?" questioned the former owner of the office who was still stunned by the sheer velocity his chair had hit. His question couldn't be heard but the furrowed brow and questioning look on his boss- _now ex-_ bosses' face was unmistakable.

Rhys' ECHO Eye lit up and he said; "Oh, _you know_ ," Vasquez's eyes narrowed a little in an attempt to read Rhys' lips but he was unceremoniously yanked into space in a rush of air as the entirety of the airlock's contents was, uh, _fired_.

"Just taking out the _trash_." he finished.

Rhys turned away and leaned on the shiny, dark desk with his arms crossed and watched as two of his _former_ bosses floated past in the unforgiving, airless environment. 

 _Well._  He thought to himself,

_Two birds, one stone._

_**_////_** _


End file.
